Livin’ Life On The Lamb

As I sit here on my hiney, posting yet another entry on the web, my husband is in the kitchen cleaning up. Really.

Helaman and Noah stayed home from church on Sunday because Noah woke up at 3:00 a.m. with a fever of 103. By 8:00 a.m., it was down to 101.8, but I wasn’t going to bring him to church and infect every kid in primary, that’s just not fair! Besides, I really can’t stand it when people bring their sick kids to church or anywhere else for that matter…but let’s not get me started…Ahem…so I went to church on Sunday, and while Helaman watched Noah (again), I went to work out on Monday and then did a little grocery shopping after that. By the time I got home, I was exhausted, but I’m not usually wiped out after an hour of aerobics and shopping for crying out loud!!

 Looooooooong story short - I am sick. Really sick. I don’t like being sick. And it’s funny how when a woman gets sick, it’s not like there’s NOTHING else to do. It just so happens that we had to have 8 cracked tiles replaced in our home. On Monday, of course. So we had 8 men come it with grinders, hammers, chisels, and other odds and ends to get the old tiles up and put in the new ones. So our home is COVERED with a super-fine layer of dust, the dishwasher needs to be unloaded, the dishes in the sink need to be loaded INTO the dishwasher, the groceries need to be put away, and the entire house needs to be dusted. Sheesh. And all this is done as I get sick. Brilliant. Yep. Great. Grand. WONDERFUL!

 And then as I sit here, I hear a stirring in the kitchen. I can hear the clank of dishes and pots and pans banging together. I can hear water running in the sink. Helaman calls from the kitchen, “Can I just stick these bags of fruit in the fridge?”. He knows that I have this fanatical need to wash EVERYTHING before it goes in the fridge, or it might contaminate the other food in there or what if Noah reaches in there to grab a piece of fruit or some carrots and he takes a bite and IT HASN’T BEEN WASHED?!?!?

“Sure,” I reply weakly from the spare bedroom, “Just be sure to leave them in the bags so I can wash them tomorrow.”

So when I do leave the confines of the bedroom to get a glass of water, I see that the entire kitchen has been cleaned up. There isn’t a single bag, dish, glass, pot or speck of dust in the kitchen. The rest of the house my be a wreck, but before we head off to bed, I can rest easy knowing that if I get up to get a glass of water, I won’t have to fight through the destruction from the day to find a clean glass. Thanks babe, I really appreciate it.

the cold weather that made it feel like we were in, oh, I don’t
know….DECEMBER?!?!?!?!

Oh, boy, next time I see a cow, I’m gonna….well I’ll um…..Well, you can bet your booty that I’ll scare the monster away, that’s what I’ll do. With the horn of my car, or a loud party horn, or….something. Freakin’ fartin’ cows. I agree with Tanner.

Well, when you are cute, single, female missionaries always dressed up out in the ghetto, things can get a little creepy at night. Sooooo creepy that you might call your Mission President, and tell him that you have been STONGLY promted to leave your home immediately (after some creepy-heeby-jeeby guy has been callin’ all hours and finally asked the question: “Are you home right now?”).

When you return home the next day, you might be feeling a little silly - but not silly enough to stay another night in the heeby-jeeby house, so you go stay with a nice member in Rio Rico who happens to have a spare room available for a week. Or three. Whatever.

And that’s how these beautiful missionaries came to be in our home and how they are able to study all the time and feel the Spirit and never goof off and make funny faces with our mac or cook instant cakes in the microwave at 10:30 pm, or sit around on P-day and clip coupons and eat junk food.

And so, life goes on as usual in the Lambson household….or unusual…Whatever

Alright, alright, already. Here are a few pics of the new place, though Helaman took them and, well, you just have to work with what ‘cha got. There’s a lovely pic of the front, then of Noah’s partially painted room, then the guest bathroom (showing the toilet seat the He-Man left up), then the dark kitchen, then the bright kitchen. That’s it. Our cute little home. I love it. It’s mine! Um..well technically ours, but MINE all the same.

It’s nice to be able to paint your own home whichever color you so choose from the mulit-million blobs of color you have to choose from. It’s nice to paint half the wall and decide that this particular shade of brown looks like a burrito on the wrong end of a diaper, so I just haphazardly painted my name, looped in a couple of smiley faces, and slid in a poem. Then painted over it!! Fun stuff.

It’s nice to load a dishwasher so wrong that not even one piece of silverware comes out clean. Oh, but it was fun to load!! Oops, I’ll get it right someday.

It’s nice to turn the thermostat to 60 degrees at night and not have to start a fire with the pellets or worry about Noah getting them and putting them in his mouth or putting his race car in the hopper or anything like that. It just turns on, and this wonderful, warm air comes streaming out of the vents. Nice.

It’s nice to sleep on an air mattress on the carpeted floor of the concrete that’s been laid on the land that we own. I like to go outside and play in the sand that sits in the front yard that belongs to my husband and I. The sand that he’s worked so hard for. We have this teeny little home that sits on a bare lot on a dirt road. And it feels so right to walk in that front door and know that we’ve worked hard and sacrificed for this, and it’s finally one of our little dreams coming true. Oh, it’s nice.

It really, really happened! We are home owners!! I’m not a renter! I can check the “own” box whenever I fill out a questionare…if I ever have the time to do such mundane things ever again. Because I’m a home-owner now and am waaaaay to busy to do petty things such as fill out questionares and silly stuff like that. Oh, why am I soooo excited? Let me illuminate:

Reason #1: It will be a warm house. It will have heat. In every room. All winter long. I will not have to buy propane and switch out bottles when the wind is blowing sleet down my jacket right before I’m suppossed to have dinner on the table but I can’t cook because, the propane tank? It’s empty. Oh, and no more pellets to haul.

Reason #2: I will have a double sink in the kitchen. Something I don’t have now. Just a single, shallow sink.

Reason #3: I think the place might be warm….

Reason #4: I will have a garbage disposal. I will not have to fish out slimy pasta, mushy vegetables, or yucky chunks of meat out of the drain. The sink will eat such nasties.

Reason #5: I will have a dishwasher. One that washes the dishes and sanitizes them and makes them all clean. Even if the dog licks it…it will be clean.

Reason#6: It’s really really cute!!

Reason #7: I will walk to the wall, push the “up” arrow button, and there will be a miraculous phenomenon which will occur somewhere inside the wall (I like to refer to it as “Fairy Land” ) and WARM air will come out of vents placed in various points in the home. Like the bedroom. Even, though hard to believe, in the bathroom *gasp*. It’s true! I’ve seen it happen. I will make it happen. And I will be happy.

Well, after countless rewrites, fixes, and 2-hour drives to what is going to be our new home, it’s actually going to happen. Tomorrow morning between 10 and 11 am, I am going to hold the keys to our new home in my hand. And I will drive there, and I will ring the doorbell for the first time and unlock the door for the first time and go inside for the first time and know with complete, um, knowledge that I will be the very first person to sit and tinkle on that toilet. Yes, I think I could even brave the unthinkable: talking on my cell phone while sitting on the potty. OH, YES! That’s what I said. Not scared. Not yucky. It’s going to be a great day tomorrow, I can just feel it. New day, new house…oh yeah.

But I’m not, right? Old that is. But I have a friend who is the Costco Vanna. You know….Sam’s Club, Price Club, whatever it is you call a HUGE warehouse full of oversized packages of stuff that fits nicely in your bathroom if you only plan to squeeze in , do your bidness and squeeze out kind of place. Oh, they hand out yummy free samples too. Ummm….my point being…Oh yeah! My friend buys everything at Costco and if we don’t , she points out all the reasons we should have bought our whatever it was there and we can take it back like 3 years later as long as you have the receipt and you can get twelve of them and you won’t have to ever worry about buying one ever again and neither will your children. Will schmill. My kids are gettin toilet paper when I die. And again…my point being…

Yes, of course….*thinking quickly back to what the heck am I doing here anyways? How did I get here….oh yeah….* I was online looking for the 2nd generation BLUE iPod because I am obsessed with it and I must have it (or the red one, it’s wicked pretty too). Silver just doesn’t do it for me, it must be blue (or asforementioned red) or the music doesn’t sound as good and it’s too heavy and not as bright and doesn’t have the long battery life and it just looks cool, alright Gila Man! I mean Gosh! It’s the same price already.

Gee…I was just, ya know…killin’ a little time (’cuz I have so much of it) and just cruisin’ the Costco website, checkin things (like the iPods) out and seein’ if there’s any shift in the color situation (no shift, if you’re wonderin’) and I remember that Noah really liked these flash card type things that Costco Vanna had at her house that he LOVED. They were cute and helped children develop their language skills and Noah just liked the pictures so I thought it would make a cute Christmas gift. So I click on “search” and enter “flash cards” thinking that the flash cards would be addition, subtraction, mulitplication, colors and things of that nature. And up pops a page on digital memory flash cards. For holding pictures and info. Not flash cards. No addition. Nothing like what I was expecting. I feel like a big dork and I just thought I’d share that with you so that if you were having a bad day and feeling like a dork as well, to bad!!! I win. I must sleep now…obviously…..