Livin’ Life On The Lamb

M I L K

Milk. That’s the word of the day. Gila Man has said it about 600 times in the past 2 days because I forgot to buy it and then WE forgot to buy it and we had to tell Mr. B that we were out of milk.

M I L K

Except that Gila Man doesn’t say “milk”. He says “melk”. Like “melt” but with a “k” on the end. It’s ok that he ldrinks out of the carton, that he puts the dishes in the sink without rinsing them, that he wears his clothes for DAYS on end before he feels that those clothes have earned a spot in the dirty clothes hamper. Actually, these things bug me too, though I can deal with them. I do deal with them. But the “melk” thing, man, that’s just going TOO far!

Just thought I’d vent a little. Thanks.

Ok, not really at all. This lady is awesome and the song is HILARIOUS so I just thought I’d share it with all my faithful readers and Moms out there. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!

PS - Mom, I feel like I talk like this to Mr. B aaaaaalllllll daaaaayy looooong.

What’s up with the crack-head snowflakes on my blog? Where did they come from? I shore didn’t pick them…this is a conspiricy…I’ll get to the bottom of this…but first I’m gonna go to bed.

This being May and all, we had our mom’s group party at my place this month. It’s always the first Thursday of every month (thanks for letting me know Karla), and May was my month, so May 1st it was! We had Hawaiian Haystacks - I made the rice and gravy, and everyone else brought toppings. There were only 3 people who actually knew what HH were, and they were both LDS. Funny, huh? I kept hearing people say, “Hey, this is really good.” or “Wow, this is tasty!” or “Oh, I didn’t think it would taste this yummy!”. It was very funny.

Everyone brought something to share, and some took their containers home, but others brought their toppings in “take ‘n toss” plastic ware. When I tried to give Karla back her container with the onions in it, she said it was no problem to keep it. “What about your container?” I asked.
“What?” she replied, “It’s take ‘n toss. I don’t care!”

Um…did I miss something? Do people actually TAKE this stuff places and TOSS it when they are done? They don’t wash it? They don’t re-use it? When did this start happening? I still wash and rinse out the ziploc bags (unless they had liquids or yuckies in them), dry them out, and re-use them. Where have I been? I think I’m a little outa the loop…

Except, I think I’m going to volunteer to host the mom’s group party the next time I start needing containers for our leftovers - I’ve got lots for now!

Well, it happened. The tell-tale sign of the beginning of summer: I got burnt. BAD. For some reason, I can’t just gradually tan throughout the summer. I’ve got to get that really bad, miserable, I-totally-just-want-to-die-please-find-some-way-to-sleep-without-laying-on-my-back burn, and then I might, MIGHT, get some color by the end of October. Highly unlikely, but everyone has their dreams, right?

During the week when I work out, Mr. B has to go see the babysitter in the gym for an hour or two. We’ve had our good days and our bad days with him going to see the sitter, but he has been a golden child since I started bribing him with “Swim Fridays”. If he’s good all week and uses his manners and shares the toys and uses nice words and does other nearly impossible things for a three-year-old, we bring our swimmies and our snacks and splash away for an hour or two. Thing is, I go to work out at 8 a.m., so we are in the pool by 9:15 and out by 10:30 or so.

Today, we (girls from the mom’s group and I) were supposed to meet at 10 a.m. to swim and have a picnic lunch - fun, huh? But I was late. 45 minutes late to be exact. What?!? I HAD to stop and get a Dr. Pepper at the gas station because, hello? Swimming and soda pop? It’s like, you know…it’s just like those other things that go together…like…ok, fine. Like peas and carrots, all right? Then they are re-paving the freeway and I was stuck in traffic also. Blah, blah, blah, huh?

Soooo…10:45 until we ate at 12:00. Then a little break and back in the pool we went. Mr. B had two layers of SPF 60 on, but I just quickly sprayed some SPF 15 on and away I went. You can actually see where the sunscreen hit and where it didn’t. I have two white patches on my shoulders where the sunscreen was, a white line where my suit went, and a HUGE patch of red accross my back.

I feel like I’ve been cooked. Just thought I’d let you know that I might not be able to sit up to post for a few days. Besides, there sure isn’t much going on in my life right now anyway. Except for the stimulus check. That was an exciting way to start the day. But that’s all for now. Hope everyone else’s summer is off to a wicked good start like mine!!

Thirteen Things I Have Learned Since I Started Working Out:

1. Monday mornings may be hard, but they sure do set the pace for the week.

2. It’s worth getting up 15 minutes earlier in order to get the nice step, the non-grimy weights, the inflated ball, and the good spot on the floor (under the fan, of course).

3. Singing while working out is frowned upon, especially in the weight room, ESPECIALLY when there are guys around. Even if the song ROCKS, and it takes all your effort to keep from bursting into song…keep the love to yourself.

4. Wearing less clothes doesn’t mean you are in good shape.

5. Exhaling very loudly while pressing any amount of weights does not make you look stonger. It reminds everyone in the room that we should all brush our teeth before going to the gym.

6. Perfume stinks when you sweat. Really. Don’t wear perfume before coming to the gym. You will smell like a dirty hooker by the time you leave, and people will shy away from you in step aerobics class.

7. Nobody wipes down the machines or mats when they are done using and sweating all over them.

8. Soooo, wipe down all the machines before and after you use them. Especially before.

9. Working out is one of the only ways that I can be happy all the time. Even if I don’t want to be there, I leave feeling like the most gorgeous woman in the gym and I’m pumped for the rest of the day.

10. You must keep working out. No stopping. No breaks. Especially not for two months, even if you’re sick, because when you go back, you WILL feel as though you’ve been hit by a truck. A big one. Like Mac from Cars.

11. Lunges suck. I hate them. They were created by Satan and that’s what bad people will be doing in Hell if they don’t eat their vegetables and say their prayers. I have been doing lots of both so I don’t go to Hell. I hate lunges.

12. My face gets so red during aerobics that I look like I’ve just spent 43 or so hours in the Sahara Desert without a hat or water or any shade. But I’ve lost 30 pound since I started in October, and I feel great, so I can deal with the red face!

13. It’s bad manners to stand next to the machine I happen to be using in the weight room and sigh heavily and tap your foot and act like I’m in your way and ruining your workout. Especially when I rest between sets. Give me a break! Oh, and the no singing during your workout? Really don’t do it while resting between sets when the aforemention goon is standing and tapping his foot and sighing loudly and waiting for “his” machine. He will get mad. Then he’ll go talk to the manager. But by the time they come back together, you’re on the next machine, pumping iron as if your life depended on that last press and the guy looks like a giant dork.

Or something like that. That what Templeton the Rat sang on the first Charlotte’s Web. Since Gila Man has Sunday and Monday off, we were trying to plan a fun (and cheap) family activity that we could do. Now the zoo is always a given, you never have to ask us twice to head up to the big city and visit the zoo. But I happened to go online and find out the dates of our (semi) local fair. Monday was family day - $2.00 parking, $2.00 admission, and Mr. B was FREE! WE LOVE THE FAIR! The sights, the smells, the shows, the rides, and of course, the food!

Something about going to the fair makes me happy. Silly, I know. But I remember going to the fair as a kid and participating in what seemed like EVERY event in the livestock barn. Growing up, we had a small farm since I was born. Um, not that me being born meant that my parents suddenly had a farm…but one of my earliest memories is looking out the sliding glass door in the back of our little home and seeing (what seemed to me) thousands of little fluffy chicks. My dad went to go buy a few and ended up filling his hatchback Honda Civic with flats and flats of chicks.

When I grew older, nothing changed; I remember all the work we had to put in to get all of our animals ready for the show. You could always tell which kids waited until a week before the fair to put a collar on their animals. There was walking and brushing and trimming and putting on the coats so they don’t get sick because we just chopped off all their hair and making sure that everyone was ready to go.

Then we would pack up the travel trailer with everything a family of five could live on for 3 or 4 days, pack up the horse trailer with all the critters (mostly goats, we did chickens, rabbits, pigs, and sheep at the local fairs), and head to the BIG CITY! Once we were there, we would, of course, have to unpack everything and everyone and get the critters ready to show.

I remember going into the pens where the goats were kept and just hanging out because it was incredible to see the looks on the city folk’s and the little kids faces when they saw a goat for the first time. It was soooo cool to actually have someone ask ME a question about the animals and be able to answer them and be right!

I remember that the nights in the travel trailer were unbearably freezing and the days incredibly hot.

I remember that the food we packed was never quite as scrumptious as that greasy, nasty, overpriced food at the fair was.

I remember helping to milk the goats after the show and squirting the warm, creamy milk directly into my mouth (much to the shock or delight of the city folk).

I also remember snacking on the goat grain in between meals. Really. The corn was yummy!

I remember running off as soon as my brother and I could so we could check out the runway and covet the dorky stuffed animals hanging everywhere.

I rememeber the amazing feeling of pride as we drove home from the fair - dirty, smelly, tired and just plain wore out - but with a stack of ribbons to rival just about anybody…most of them blue!

So, I get a little nostalgic when I go back to the fair that I spent so much time at as a child. There’s also something really, really, cool about bringing my child there to build memories as well. Not the same kind, certainly the more carefree-I-don’t-care-what-time-the-goats-have-to-be-ringside-for-the-yearling-class, but he sure did want to put those baby goats in the stroller to take them home “so they won’t be lonely”, he said. I guess we are all still building memories, though they might be a little different…here’s an example…Gila Man wants this to be this year’s family photo…what do you think?