The Black Dress

After spending the ENTIRE day outside on Monday preparing the front yard for the holes that needed to be dug for the trees we just bought and getting sunburned pretty badly, I started using sunscreen on my face so I wouldn’t have to go through any pain again. Then Tuesday, I was having a rough night and was lonely and waiting for my hubby to get home when I found a package of oreo cookies. Now, I didn’t eat the whole thing, I just ate half, because when I was done with the package (and the two cups of 2% milk – not fat free!), there was half of the tops of the oreo sitting next to me on the floor. Ahem…needless to say, my face ain’t lookin all that great.

Then comes the call. From my good friend Jeanette. I have a few questions about her upcoming wedding. She answers them. Then she asks one of her own: “Will you be in the wedding?”
“YOUR wedding?” I ask, incredulously.
“Well of course MY wedding, silly!”
“Um, well, sure. I mean if you’re sure you WANT me in your wedding, I would LOVE to be in your wedding!”
“Do you have a black dress?” she asks.
“Sure.” I reply (it’s my ugly frumpy FUNERAL dress, but I’m not gonna tell her that)
“That is so great!! See you the day after tomorrow!” She says excitedly and hangs up.

So now I have to go find a decent black dress to wear to the wedding. This sounds like fun to me, if I can get away without Noah and Helaman and actually SHOP, ya know?

So I set the boys up with dinner and head to Ross. Because, hello? We don’t just have the money to run out and buy random new dresses from wherever new black dresses are sold! Sheesh. Upon entering Ross, I immediately find the rack with the dresses on it. LOTS of dresses. LOTS of black dresses. Not very many MODEST black dresses.

Some of you might say, “Who cares? You’re just going to a wedding, just wear the sleeveless/lowcut/highcut/see through/hoochie momma dress!”, right? But I have a VERY, VERY firm belief that I should wear what I would want my daughter to wear (should I ever, ever get pregnant and by some miracle have a little girl). That I don’t need to show off my body in order to feel good about myself. So I have to keep searching, and searching, and searching. And I am not having any luck finding a decent black dress for the wedding. I start to get so desperate that I start to pray. Really! I’m praying to my Heavenly Father that if we need to be modest and not walk around half naked then he needs to (pretty, pretty, please) throw me a bone here!

Naturally, when I am sure all hope is lost and I will have to wear Ugly Betty’s Frump Girl Outfit to the wedding, I find it. A black dress. With sleeves. Down to my knees. But a little low cut. All I have to do is head to the junior’s section to find a black tankie to go underneath it and, voila! A cute, modest dress to wear to a semi-formal event that I won’t feel embarassed about when I see the pictures afterward. Worth the time? Oh, of course. I mean, wouldn’t I (someday) want my daughter to understand the pricipals that I believe in and put in a little effort to what she chooses to wear? Of course!

Now about my son going pee in other people’s backyards…..

Um, this just won\'t cut it!


2 thoughts on “The Black Dress

  1. Wow…you found one?! Sounds like a modern-day miracle. Even here in “Happy Valley” the dresses are a little too hoochie for my taste. I can occasionally find one I like at a thrift store.
    Good for you!

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