The Book

I walked into the bathroom and noticed that there was a book sitting on the back of the toilet. Now, I like to read. Wait, that’s not quite right, I love to read. I have books strewn from one end of the house to the other, and my nightstand is currently harboring 3 current reads. But the book sitting there in the bathroom was not mine; neither did I put it there.

When Gila Man came in the house from outside, I asked him why the book was there.

“What book?” he said.

“Um, the only book in the bathroom.” I replied.

“Well, that’s my book, so I thought I’d read it.” he said.

“But…you don’t read.” I reminded him.

“I can read!” he cried, incredulous.

“I didn’t say that you can’t read, only that you don’t.” I quickly replied.

“I read.” he said.

“Yeah, your scriptures every Sunday morning. AT church, DURING sacrament. On your iPod! That’s it.”

Indignant, he retorted, “Hey, I study my scriptures during the week while I’m preparing my lesson for Sunday School. That counts.”

“Ok,” I said, “But that doesn’t explain why there is a non-scripture type book resting peacefully on the back of the toilet.”

“It was a gift, so I thought I would read it.” he explained.

“Soooo…” I reasoned, “If I give you a book, you’ll read it?”

“Well, no. Don’t spend the money that I earn on a book that I won’t read.” he said.

“Alright, then you don’t read.” I cried, feeling that I had totally caught him in his ‘I read’ ploy.

“Yes, I do.” he said, rolling his eyes at me, “I read Stop signs, and…and, a LOT of things like that. Every day! So why would I need a book for?”

I give up.

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7 thoughts on “The Book

  1. Ok, I know that you are all probably laughing at my expense, but in my defense, I read my wife’s blog CONSTANTLY and by the way there are a LOT of stop signs that I read daily.

  2. Helaman reads what he’s passionate about at the time…an alarm clock manual, an instruction booklet for a new cel phone…as a kid, he could tell you the model number on any given running shoe in the Nike catalog.

    So, to know that he reads your blog, is a supreme complement; he must be passionate about YOU, and of course…traffic signs.

    Incidentally Gila Man, I’d be curious to know what you think of the book you keep on the back of the toilet.

  3. Sorry babe, I know there are lots of stop signs on your way to work, I suppose that you are rather well read.
    Gerb, you’re right. Though sometimes I wish he DIDN’T read it…like right now!
    Kevn – You hit it right on the head! I remember after we bought our Nissan Sentra in 2003 we traveled to Phoenix the next day and the WHOLE way he was reading the manual and saying things like, “Hey, did you know that this thing can get 40 miles per gallon?!?” and, “Check out this little compartment here – it would be great for holding your sun glasses or a garage door opener, if we had one.”. And yes, I can gather that he is passionate about me…or is he just spying???

  4. HAHA! This is MY husband, Sarah! It reminds me of the time I caught him reading The Shack. He actually made it the entire way through…only took him, like two months.

  5. Allison – thanks! I was a little nervous when I heard my intro, but what are ya gonna do? (and I’ll change your link soon!)
    TinF – Yep, totally famous. But not really. My aunt gave Mr. B that water toy the night before and it was still “new” to him, hence the fascination.
    Gerb – Seriously? I was on national news at four am talking about a fence…what’s to be nervous about? : )

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