A Day At A Time

It sure is nice to be in my own bed in my own home using my own internet, and NOT having my blood pressure taken every two hours. It is hard, though, as a woman and as the “runner” of the household, to give up the complete control I had only a short time ago. EVERYTHING that had anything to do with our home was done my ME. With the exception of emptying the dishwasher and taking out the trash, those were totally my husband’s jobs. Otherwise, it was me, making sure the Mr. B’s clothes were all lined up for the week, making sure there was plenty of lunch stuff for his lunches all week, planning the menu and making sure it got cooked. Cleaning, planning, moving, writing, paying, talking, organizing, finacinizing…it was all what I did. And it’s been hard to relinquish that to the amazing people who have stepped up and said, “I’ll do it, let me help.”
Now I can look back and realize that by helping me, the service they are performing is helping them. They get to feel like they are actively participating in my life AND they are helping in the only way they (or I) know how they can help, and it turns out that it’s works out great for both of us…if I can let go a little…

In other news, there is no news…we still have NO idea what my ‘Blob’ was/is. My surgeon told me on Saturday morning that the pathologists still didn’t know what it is, but that they were going to cut & dye it and run more tests and re-convene on Monday morning. He said that the blob is one of two things; either a very rare and awful form of cancer, or it’s a benign blob that grows on adrenal glands. So far, we the med students seem to think that it’s an adrenal gland blob, which sounds good to me. We are going to name the blob a, “Sarah-coma”…you know, like “sarcoma” but “Sarahcoma” because it was in me and it’s a mystery blob? Well, it sounded way funnier when my mom said it, that’s for sure…

Here’s what it looks like now:

From Sternum to Navel, OUCH!

Luckily, I don’t have stitches or staples, the surgeon said had enough faith in my young body NOT to get infected or do anything that might “jeopardize” the incision after I went home. I was able to get dissolving stitches so they’ll take care of themselves. The most painful part is at the top; I can’t do ANYTHING or move ANYWHERE without feeling like an ice-pick is poking through that second steri-strip…

But we are doing well, enjoying meals brought by friends and trying to stay nice and calm so I don’t rip out my friendly stitches!

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2 thoughts on “A Day At A Time

  1. Sarah-coma…. I laughed!!! Sounds like you’re healing nicely and doing your best to enjoy the help of others. Enjoy it while you can and soak it all up. It will all be back in your hands again before you know it!

    Hugs and Prayers,
    Donna

  2. Take really good care of your scar. I was ‘tough’ with my first one. (Same as yours, but down to my pelvis.)It spread to almost an inch wide and was really ugly. Just had it re-opened for the 3rd time. The surgeon cut uff the old scar tissue from the last two and made a ‘pretty’ scar. I am being really good, this time!!!
    Take care. Don’t rush too much. If you are interested in chatting about para’s you have my email. Also check out the support site I added on another day.
    Take care,
    simone

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