Being A Mormon is HARD.

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I’m fairly certain that there will be two groups of people who are going to click on this to read it; those who are LDS (Mormon) and want to see what I’m whining about, and those who are not Mormon and want to see what I’m whining about.

: )

I love my life, but today just started out roughly.

The tune that my husband sets his alarm on his phone to every morning is the most annoying sound I have ever heard. It’s this high-pitched whining slash singing voice that cranks out the most awful tune on the planet.

Gila Man had to get up early and go to meetings this morning because he is the Elder’s Quorum President. This means I have to get up, get ready, take care of the critters and get my two boys ready and to church on time by 9am. I don’t normally mind it, but this morning was hard because:

I stayed up late last night to finish a book,

My boys are both on antibiotics and Ollie has diarrhea so bad that every centimeter of skin inside his diaper is a bright, boiling red,

I was attacked about being a Mormon and accused of being a bigot the night before, so I was feeling sad,

Mr. B spilled the whole bowl of the last of his favorite cereal on his way to the table, leading to a meltdown,

Ollie whined the whole morning,

I feel that as a woman and a mother that I have a lot, A WHOLE FREAKIN’ LOT of responsibility on my shoulders,

And…

I didn’t want to go to church.

There, I admitted it! I’m in trouble, I know. I might have to go talk to the bishop…except he was here this evening and I already talked to him, so I’m good, no need to tattle, ya’ll.

But I just didn’t feel like going this morning. And honestly, I know that I wouldn’t have even made the effort to leave my house if not for my calling.

See, I teach the Valiant 8’s and I LOVE it. Love it so much that I pretty much cry every Sunday during Primary because I feel the Spirit so strong and I love, seriously have and feel LOVE in my heart for those kids in my class. But getting out my front door today was a hard, hard thing to do.

I have been lucky, oh so lucky and blessed, to have made mistakes in the past.

Why “lucky”, you ask? Lucky because I have made mistakes in the past and I have had the good fortune to learn from them. Lucky because I didn’t lose anything precious while making those mistakes. And blessed because I’ve made mistakes, I’ve learned from them, and I am able to retain those lessons I learned.

One lesson I’ve learned that has helped me in countless ways is this;

If it’s something spiritual and I don’t want to do it, I better get my butt in gear and get it done.

The few times I ignored that feeling left me feeling empty and sorry for myself after I found out what I missed (like meeting President Monson, and listening to Elder Bednar speak, grrrr).

So if I feel like I want to skip something spiritual, I go do it, and I have never, not ONCE been sorry I went (as opposed to the countless times I’ve been sorry that I didn’t go).

That’s how today was.

There were great speakers in Sacrament and then Primary simply WOWED me with truth. I left feeling happy and uplifted and loved and I knew, KNEW that what I was doing was the exact right thing for me to be doing. And at the end of the day, that’s nice to know.

Sure it’s hard, and some days are harder than others.

But worth it? Sure it’s worth it.

It’s so, so worth it. And if I had it to do over that I would. Again and again and again. It’s THAT worth it.

*UPDATE*

A friend emailed me with a valid point; “I’m not Mormon but I get up and go to church every Sunday. Why does going to church make it hard to be a Mormon?”

So, I will say, it’s not just going to church that makes it hard.

Joining the LDS church doesn’t just mean I simply started going to church on Sunday. When I made the decision to get baptized as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I made a complete lifestyle change as well (which, trust me, was a good thing). It was one of the very best decisions I have EVER made, and the life-change was one for the better, but I’m not going to say that everything was all hunky-dory and perfect without a care in the world afterwards. I simply discovered a more optimistic way of looking at the time we have on Earth.

This means I have a lot of responsibility to keep the promises I make with Heavenly Father. It also means that I work really, really hard to keep the promises I make with everyone around me at any given time. THIS is especially hard when I don’t want to go to church, because I promised the primary president that I would teach this class every Sunday, and I’m trying to honor that commitment. That’s all I meant.

*END OF UPDATE*

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4 thoughts on “Being A Mormon is HARD.

  1. I just love that you aren’t afraid to admit all those little things that most of us are too embarassed to actually own up to! I so hope to see you next visit 🙂

  2. I am right there with you. Marcos is gone to meetings before we even wake up, and I am completely frazzled before I even get to church! How often I have just barely escaped a break down in the middle of the church hallway. But like you say, by the time church is over, I have realized that it was a really good thing for me to be there. I know its where I should be, and so does Heavenly Father, because he blesses me in the simplest ways when I do. Its what gets me through the week.

  3. TinF, thanks!
    Danita, I hope we’ll see you THIS weekend too!! ; )
    Esther, I’m glad I’m not the only girl in the whole world who feels this way!!

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